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“I like watching men and men” or ‘Nothing beats ringing in the new year with … cankles’



My first overnight shift was about to begin.Car -non existent so i had to rely on public transport. In these parts of the world, it is notoriously unreliable. So there i stood at the bottom of the road, waiting for a bus to come, thoughts of hitch hiking running through my mind in conjunction with thoughts of hitchhikers getting mutilated and left for dead in shallow graves. It then started to rain and when it rain it pours- i was about to be soaked to the bones. Cursing heavily under my breath as the rain drops size of miniature needles stung my face, i ran to seek refuge. Eventually it seized and by sheer luck i managed to take a bus and what do you know, i arrived on time.

The kitchen was a lot less busy , a lot less congested as i entered. A few of my co-workers were there including the Assistant Supervisor(i shall call him Vijay) a short, rotund Indian man maybe late 20s to early 30s. His back story which he was more than eager to share. He left home at a young age, travelled to Europe and the Middle East where he worked in the industry . I suppose this was not only his attempt at small talk but perhaps a way of getting to know me. Naturally, i revealed very little-not that there is much depth to my story but i don’t find it necessary to talk about myself in depth. It’s sometimes best one remains tight lipped especially when tasked with gathering intel.

As usual there was an abundance of work to be done. These knives,forks and what have you were forever in need of being polished, trays and tables always had to be set, pots and pans were always to be picked up and dropped off, dishes needed to be cleaned and i needed to keep active for fear of falling asleep.
Glancing ever so often at the 3 clocks that were in eye sight i noticed it was time for lunch. This was 2am i couldn’t figure out why it was called lunch but who am i to question this. All i cared about is that i was gonna be nourished. It’s almost ironic that here i am about to have a plate for free but had i been on the other side of the ‘food chain ‘ so to speak i would pay a high cost for. As i collected my food and made my way to the one table that was available to us, i couldn’t help but feel as though i was back in high school. Only thing there were no cliques and everyone sat at one table but they all new each other and spoke excidetly. Me? i buried my eyes and my fork into my plate and ate feverishly- barely glancing up or taking time to swallow. It was very good.

Everyone cleared away, I sat there still catching my breath contemplating whether i should be glutonous and have some little pastries. For fear of vomitting everything i had just ingested i decided not to. As i managed to put myself into a slight catatonic stage, a trick i learned to do while riding trains late at night to catch some sleep, i was then approached by Lester an oldish man whose chattiness was revolting to say the least.

Then more probing and small talk from Lester who then goes,” did you hear about the two gay guys from here who went and got their wedding posted on line” I said “No. What you mean they married each other?” He then goes ” No- yes they are a gay couple, one of them is my son” I say ” Oh ok, thats cool”, slightly expecting this conversation to end. Oh there is no ending with this Gobby Gertrude. Glancing around slyly he then when on to say ” you know i just don;t think they should post gay weddings on the internet, it’s not right” A deduction i couldn’t see logic to -since Straight couples place there marriage on the internet. He then went further to say, ” when i had the internet, you know i use to like to watch these things.” Me slightly confused ” oh so you like to watch gay weddings” Him rather casual then said,” no i mean,uh you know how you watch women and men in sex videos well sometimes i like to watch men and men” Pause. Without losing my composure i say ” oh ok , whatever floats your boat” He then goes quiet, i too say nothing. He then asks me ” what do you watch?” I say without flinching ” well i only watch TBN and read my bible” This shuts him down completely, and hopefully for good.Awkward.

It’s amazing how these people are often so eager to just talk not only of themselves but everyone else. Are they just being friendly? or are they just being too nosy? i must say i agree with the latter especially as i have been constantly asked in tones i do not appreciate ” Who are you? Where are you from”. It’s rude and annoying but maybe its culturally embedded into their mannerisms.

I have now learned the basic layout of the hotel. It’s quite confusing especially at nights, while driving a golf cart without a license and constantly running into walls. Terrible i know- will have that corrected soon. Hopefully before i run over an unsuspecting guest. Which would mean i have to incur all costs not to mention bruised ego.
Speaking of bruised ego, i never knew it would hurt so much to stand on one’s feet for 8 straight hours. I couldn’t imagine doing it in heels (just an observation not that i was forced to do it…not yet at least) My legs felt on fire, actually they had no feeling. I felt as though i was slipping in and out of consciousness at times- the clock on the wall was moving slower and slower with every glance.

Soon it was time to leave- and i couldn’t wait to do so. Exhausted, Feet swollen and what do you know it was a new year. Believe it or not i totally forgot even though the boom of the fireworks a few hour earlier had filled the hotel. Gosh what day was it? This is some serious ‘jet-lag’! As i managed to drag my beaten carcass into bed, still unable to feel my legs, it wasn’t long before i fell into a deep slumber.



The BEST holidays

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