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Our long distance marriage

You’ve probably heard about long distance relationships before but what about a long distance marriage?

We’re what’s known as ‘married unaccompanied’ as we choose NOT to follow John around the UK with his job. Even if it is a self-inflicted decision, it is still extremely difficult. There are many reasons why we do it; to give Izzie stability, live in our own home, allow me to have a job, to be near our family and friends. Plus personally, I do not enjoy the lifestyle that being married accompanied gives.

In recent years things have been much more difficult. Generally we were always able to see each other on weekends and it worked, it allowed us both to work our jobs and enjoy the weekends together. Then Izzie came along and things for a moment were great. John enjoyed his paternity leave and returned to work on a Monday as usual. As soon as he returned, he was told he was being sent to Scotland. That’s 650/700 miles away from where we live, an eleven/twelve hour drive if you don’t hit any traffic and there was nothing we could do about it! Yes, we could have gone with him but I had to return to work after my maternity leave, we’d need to arrange to sell/rent the house, we’d be hundreds of miles away from family and friends and even if we had joined him he could have still been sent away and I would have been left totally alone.


We’ve been left to deal with this for almost three years now, he’s home one weekend a month and leave periods (Easter, summer & Christmas); it’s been so much more challenging then either of us expected. I’ve suffered through depression but I’ve come out the other-side.

We are now so close to completing this chapter, September brings weekends home back to us, 168 miles and a three and a half hour drive away. It will be a new job for John and we are all extremely excited and relieved for the future!

One day we will be able to see each other every day like all the ‘normal’ couples out there but right now we are sacrificing our time together to build our future.

If you are going through the same things, remember you are not alone and it is not forever. Love knows no bounds.

Tiffany x


The BEST holidays

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